1. |
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|
i fear
jumping off a ledge
to the unknown
memories of lost opportunity
because i was scared like a child
scared to ask why i was falling behind
and i wanna show you
what's really underneath me
when i rise
the way up high i'm supposed to be
and i cannot deal with this
the empty spaces
holding my present back to the past
but i can do it
no you can't
you need help
you need a lotta help
can I?
maybe
we'll see
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2. |
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|
everyone is trying to help you
everything is there for your benefit
don't question it
i don't know a lot today
i'm feeling confused again
don't even know what questions i should ask
so i'll just ask you what questions i should
comfort in not knowing
comfort in believing
that's why you're here
that's why you're my guide
my guide will never be called I
i think too much sometimes
i question these silly rhymes
i ponder too deeply into my little life
when all of the universe
surrounds me a million times larger
don't ask what's coming next
just wait and let it happen
energy will show you the way
you can't deny when you know it
|
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3. |
fear (COURAGE)
04:20
|
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|
i feel it coming
you are welcome
fear is welcome
you are helping me
thanks for telling me
i'll trust you now
(always) welcome
come and stay a while
take off your shoes
let's relax in chaos together
come through me
escape and leave
run your course
give me strength and depart
when you're done
i will grow
|
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4. |
fire (PASSION)
04:39
|
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|
just take me there
i'll figure it out
don't need a plan or a cent in my pocket
to live this fuckin life out
just take me there
show me where
i can feel alive
i just wanna change
just rearrange
all the people in my life
all the things that aren't in sight
just let me learn
without frying my brain
too much information
all of it inaccurate
you don't even know me
you never listened to who i am
so here i'll tell you
i wanna fuckin' rule with the world with love
i guess power too
but mostly love
i wanna live like fire
manifest my desires
just wanna be real
and feel
anything
a better kind of stress to weigh me down
how could i fuck it up this long
not listening to my heart
just tagging along
i wanna finally scream and cry
and change
fix my life
before i die
|
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5. |
silent (THERAPY)
08:08
|
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|
(instrumental intro)
why am i so silent?
why can't i just stir up the pot a little bit
be angry a little bit
why can't i be silent?
and just let it go
i've always been like that
but then you don't see any of my soul
i've been too silent
choking on my voice
as i sing all the songs i don't even like
why am i so silent?
i can't speak to you for long
without feeling like i have lost myself in conversation
faking success and happiness
i'm really just a mess and i want your help
i'm lonely
i'm fucking lonely
this work doesn't mean a thing to me
i'm fucking lonely, i don't know how to be a human and just love
just appreciate why i'm here and you're here and it's all about the "we"
what we do when we're in harmony
and that's not enough
it will never be
but it's enough for me
it's all just a movie
a video game with all these weird levels and characters that come and go
and it's beautiful
the drama, the triumph, the failure, the fear
i guess this is why i'm here
|
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6. |
interlude (imPATIENCE)
03:08
|
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|
(instrumental)
|
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7. |
better (CONFLICT)
05:54
|
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|
you can't label me
there's no doctor for my personality
so i'll just suffer until i feel complete
on this rat race on my own
and never understood
and i know there's something there
that's more powerful than your scares
your fear trying to hide
your condescending mindset all the time
i know who i am, i don't need help
i just need a release from your chains
you're fuckin' abusive even if i can't explain why
i am already whole by myself
i just gotta leave
you'll be fine without me
meet someone even more crazy
oo, too much for me
and i know i've found myself around
weirder and weirder characters
but i'm learning
there's something they all have
that your fucking grimy soul doesn't
and i think that's a little bit better than
being stuck in this prison
i never wanted to be you
why am i around you
i don't wanna please you
just wanna be safe
this is the start of a change
this is the start of me
|
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8. |
angry af (FRUSTRATION)
06:24
|
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|
(instrumental intro)
i'm not better
and i won't be
till i stop stuttering the truth
with all these inserted white lies
between where i stop and i overthink
oh, if i could just say
the things that are taboo
to get the information
of why they made me so blue
so blue, oh
this isn't right
don't tell me i have an easy time
i'm feeling pain again
it's real, i gotta do something about the old me
staying attached to who i used to be
glued to the fake me i walk around in now
don't tell me to shut up
maybe a part of me is bad
maybe it's been too long of being good
not feeling every cell of me that wants to scream
|
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9. |
as blue as you (EMPATHY)
04:50
|
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|
i wanna help the people most don't want as a friend
i want to understand your pain
i wanna heal you
for your benefit
and my acclaim
i don't why i feel this way
i just can't resonate with shame
i feel it too
i feel as blue as you
i've been told i should grow
but what meaning does all that taking have to do with
where I want to go
i feel it too
i feel as blue as you
and i want to help those even more blue
to a brighter hue
do you ever feel like me out where you have been?
what you haven't said
do you ever feel there's more to you
hidden behind the chaos in your head?
you've got more in you
more hidden inside your heart
|
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10. |
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|
this moment has never happened yet
every moment is new
and that is enough
to keep me alive
until i die with my face blue
remember love and affection
remember a smile on the face
remember the dark times aren't your last
but they get better each round
i remind myself each day
cause it takes a little effort
to remember
the mysteries of the universe
[the odds of] being a human
[are] 400 trillion to one
and i made that one
how have i made it this far?
when i was child i didn't think the years would come
even better i'm happy
more to come on that
you ask me, life or not?
i say yes and i'm never turning back
say yes to being here
one more second
one more minute
one more day
(and) all you have control of
the best video game is life
|
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11. |
||||
|
i didn't want to have to say a word today
i didn't have to hear all those lies inside my head
i didn't want to work when i was already exhausted in disguise
i didn't want to continue faking love
hiding my desires
it's too soon for me to know
it's too late for me to regret
it's too important to ignore right now
nothing's coming clearly today
all eclipsed on this sober haze
that i never thought i'd find
i'm high on the sleep i've been deprived
and i'm losing my ground
my fire's burning me up into sounds
if i could only leave them behind
without a doubt in my mind or my heart
that who i am will survive
it's too soon to know who i am
it's too soon to regret one/all of my mistakes
it's too important to not be aware of it now
|
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12. |
summary (GROUNDING)
06:01
|
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|
nothing feels better than being stable
nothing feels better than being me
surviving comfortably
i don't need a fancy identity
i just don't want to be hurt so bad that i fear everything
and forget what i love
i'll be patient, i'll be patient
the prize has yet to come
and the bigger prize is living every moment as it comes
this is what makes me happy
i don't need to dream those grandiose visions
that catch me in a net of attachment to fantasy
i like reality better
i like responsibility better
i'm no longer afraid to be normal
i'm no longer afraid to sacrifice
what's healthy to sacrifice
my health was not healthy to sacrifice
everything's fine as long i'm breathing
everything's complete as long as there's space
i think i'm done with overthinking
it's just a distraction
from what the people care about
and my inner peace, that's all they can feel
my inner peace is all i can gift when i'm gone
when i'm gone, my complexity will be forgotten
who am i in summary?
let's make it a meaningful summary
|
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